Learning Lessons: A Losing His Wife Novel Read online

  “It really did happen, didn’t it?”

  She nodded.

  “Oh, Jess,” he said, his voice trembling. She saw his knees buckle. His face looked ghostly. Like a ghost just punched in the stomach. “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, God,” he crumpled, took a step back and sat heavily on the corner of the bed, put an arm out behind him to support himself.

  “Pete,” she said, came to him.

  “I’m okay,” he said, put a hand up to stop her. “I...shit,” he said, face pained, he clutched at his side.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Oh, my God, Jess, how? Like you said?”

  “I told you the truth,” she said, sat behind him, put her hands around him. “I told you everything.”

  “With Tyler?” More incredulous than a question.

  “Yes, Petey.”

  “Oh, Jess...” He said it so quietly. He covered his face with his open hands. Then the sobbing started. He lowered his head and she rubbed his back. “Oh, Jess,” he said again breaking up into sobs, carrying her name off into a cry.

  “There, there,” she said, rubbing his shoulder.

  He moaned loudly, long, mooing almost like a cow. He doubled over and lay on his side on the bed. He howled in pain, loud enough to wake the kids.

  “Petey, Petey, Petey,” she whispered into his ear. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here, I’m here.”

  “Oh, no, no, no,” he howled again.

  “It’s okay, baby, don’t wake the kids, shhh...”

  She rubbed his arms, and soothed him, shushing in his ear. He was in horrible, mournful pain and it tickled her. It made her belly feel funny like when she thought of Tyler’s beautiful body and that big, hard dick he pulled out of his pants that night. She had this amazing power over her husband. It felt incredible to control him like this. To see his love displayed like this. To feel how easily she could wound him so deeply. He was dying under her fingers.

  His sobbing travelled up through her arm like electricity, got her sobbing now too. Her eyes teared up and she blinked one off, felt it splash on her cheek and roll down. “Pete, Pete, stop, stop, stop, please...”

  She soothed him until he lay still on the bed. His face was red from crying, a vein bulged out on his forehead. He seemed okay now, sleepy, and she’d feel him tremble under her hand every few breaths. He’d cried himself out.

  “Baby, this is your fantasy,” she said.

  “I know. I know. Don’t feel bad, I’m just catching up to what you already know,” his voice was a whisper.

  “I told you every detail already.”

  “I know. I wasn’t sure it was real. I didn’t think it was. You never looked in my eyes and told me, One hundred percent, Pete, it’s true this time. I fooled myself thinking it was just another story.”

  “Well, it happened, baby. I thought you might not want to talk about it. I was giving you space.”

  “No, I’m glad. I’m glad.” He was looking out across the room while she fooled with his hair.

  “Pete?”

  “Yeah?”

  “There’s more.”

  “Oh, no, Jess, oh baby—”

  “More to come, I mean.”

  “It’s not something you’ve already done?” His eyes pleaded with her.

  “No, baby, it’s something I’m going to do. And you’re going to watch.”

  “I am?”

  She stood up and went to where he could see her at the foot of the bed. His wet eyes went over her, took her in, standing there in her slinky black dress and bare feet. Her arm went behind her back and she drew the zipper down, let him hear the teeth unclenching in the quiet room.

  “There’s a chance,” she said, “we can get you what you want.”

  “Really?” his face was drawn and anxious. This was too much for him and it was delighting her.

  She held her dress up by the bust, pinching the two cups between her thumb and forefinger. She wiggled her hips a little bit, let it drop, lowering it by her fingertips. Down over her bare breasts, catching on her hardened nipples.

  “You’re bare,” Pete said.

  “Just wait...” She swayed a little, helping the fabric slide down her flesh. She slowed as she got it to her hips, dragging out her revelation.

  “Jess...” Pete’s eyes were as wide as they could be. Waiting to see her revealed.

  She let the dress sit right at the V of her thighs and the crease of her hips. Then her fingers opened and she let it fall to the floor, standing completely naked in front of him.

  “Jess, you had nothing on under there all night?”

  She stepped between his open legs and ran her fingers through the hair at the back of his head.

  “I wanted it to be easy for Tyler to fuck me.”

  “Jess, you didn’t—”

  “I was prepared for it. I wanted it. I got myself wet thinking about it.” She watched him swallow, his face tense but beaten.

  “You wouldn’t. Not there—what if you got caught?”

  She smiled and shrugged. “He’s worth it.”

  “You’re killing me.”

  “I know,” she laughed, put her arms around his neck. “Touch me.”

  His hand felt warm going up her thigh. He slid the knuckle of his thumb up until it bumped into her folds. His thumb opened, the tip of it parting her and sliding right inside her with ease.

  “You are so wet.”

  “That’s from thinking what Tyler would do to me if I pulled him into a powder room when we were there,” she whispered to him.

  “What did you want him to do?”

  His thumb worked her, made her close her eyes. “Take me from behind, bent over the toilet. Pull my dress up and fuck me with that big cock. Put his hand over my mouth so I couldn’t make a sound.”

  “You really thought about him.”

  “I really did.”

  “Is that what you want me to watch?”

  “Do you want to see that?”

  “I do,” he said, his voice trembling.

  “Are you ready for the next step?”

  “Oh, Jess, I am.” He closed his eyes and rested his head on her chest.

  “I invited him for dinner. He’s coming a week tomorrow. I told him you had to go away for the weekend, a conference.”

  “Oh, God.” He hugged her to him tightly, he squeezed her so she could barely breathe.

  “He’s coming here to fuck me. He thinks he’s going to spend the night here, do all sorts of dirty things to me. We’re going to have to convince him it’s okay to do all the filthy things he wants while you watch.”

  “He thinks you’re a dirty, cheating housewife.”

  “He doesn’t know about your little penis. Doesn’t know you don’t think it’s fair that it’s the only one I’ll get.” Her voice was a delicate whisper that tickled his ear.

  “Jess, baby, I can’t believe how wet you are.” His fingers worked inside her. The room was so quiet except for the obvious slurping sounds being made between her legs.

  “Sit back, baby, sit back,” she said.

  He let her go, reluctant to do it, leaned back on the bed.

  “Take your little dick out,” she told him. His hands were shaking, working his belt, but he got it, and then he was tugging on the zipper. He pulled his cock out for her, showed it to her between a thumb and finger.

  “You are going to die, Pete, when you see what Tyler’s got.”

  “Jess, please,” he clutched a hand over his heart. She was hurting him. She was going to kill him.

  She laughed as she got to her knees between his legs, said, “I can’t wait for you to see me with it,” then put his cock right in her mouth, all the way to the base. He was so hard she didn’t think he’d last a minute.

  Pete groaned out above her, loud, and he fell flat back on the bed. Precum surged from him, filled her mouth up. She smelled it in her nose when she exhaled. Her fingers pushed his balls up under her bottom lip, then she popped them into her mouth, doing it one at a time. Her mouth was stuffed with him. Her tongue stroked the belly of his cock, going up to the tip then diving between his balls, pushing them apart. He was making all sorts of crazy noises above her, saying her name; she could feel him thrashing about. He exploded down her throat. So much semen she thought she might choke, but she breathed and swallowed it and took it all. Pete was roaring out and slamming his fists into the bed as she drank his bitter seed up.

  “Oh, God, Jess, oh, God...”

  She climbed up him, got face-to-face with him. She wiped at her bottom lip with a finger.

  “I love you so much, Jess,” he said looking in her eyes.

  “I love you too, baby,” she said. “Will you still love me when you watch me do that to Tyler?”

  “I will. Is he going to come in your mouth?”

  “I’m going to drink every last drop of him. His balls are so big, I bet it’s a huge load. I wonder what he’ll taste like?”

  “Steroids, probably.”

  He broke her spell. She collapsed on him, her head into his collar, laughing into his neck. He caught her so off-guard, he had her cackling, her back shaking.

  “Oh, Pete, you got me, baby,” she said, sitting up, straddling his chest. “You think he’ll taste like steroids?”

  “Creatine? I don’t know. If you swallow his load and your back breaks out in zits we’ll know he’s juicing.”

  She unbuttoned his shirt for him, smiling at him. “Come on, he’s my sexy toy. Don’t make fun of him.”

  His face went serious. “Jess, you’re so beautiful. Too beautiful for me.”

  She put her hands on his bare chest, said, “Thank you, baby.”

  She dipped her head down and kissed him. “Okay?” she asked him.

  “Yeah.”

  She walked her knees up over his shoulders so her sex was over his face. She lowered her dripping wet mound to his mouth, his hands locked over her thighs, took them firmly, and his tongue worked through her. He was an absolute master down there and he had her panting in no time. He punished her back for all her games, bringing her close then letting her go. He had her heart hammering in her chest and she was sweating.

  “Oh, Tyler,” she cried out and grabbed handfuls of sheets in her fists.

  Pete gave it to her now. He went wild, his tongue pounding her swollen button, and she knew she had his permission.

  So she shouted out, “Tyler, Tyler,” over and over again, thought about that night two weeks ago when her thirty-five year old pussy took that kid’s huge cock in the minivan. She thought about his hard body under her fingertips, and she came on Pete’s tongue, barking out her lover’s name and picturing all the things she was going to make her husband watch her do to him.

  Part II

  Dinner For Three

  4

  Coconut Cream Pie

  Saturday, September 3rd

  Jess, Pete Jr, and little boy Andy were at Pete’s sister’s place at 3 P.M. Jess had asked Patty for an overnight with their favourite aunt and uncle, told her that she and Pete had a date night and wouldn’t be back until late. Jess could practically hear the wink-wink over the phone with her. If she only knew. What would she think about the crazy thing Jess and her brother were going to get up to tonight? Would she still want to sit the kids?

  “All right, babies,” Patty said, standing at her open door, “run in and say Hi to your cousins. They’re in the basement playing games, there’s snacks, there’s—”

  They were gone already, Petey taking Andy’s hand and escorting him down their hall to the basement.

  “Date night, huh?” Patty said, wry smile, arms folded.

  “Patty,” Jess said, looking away, feeling herself blush.

  “Hey, good for you two. When you take ours, Russ and I are usually in bed by nine.”

  Patty and Russ lived about ten minutes away and they would swap nights alone once a month—tonight was a special, extra request. “You two have fun tonight,” Patty said, gave Jess a knowing smile. Jess blushed again.

  Two? If you only knew, Patty.

  “We’ll see how it goes,” she said, backing down the steps to the house. She turned and headed along the walk, “Knowing us, we’ll probably fall asleep on the couch after dinner.” She waved to Patty over her shoulder as she got to the minivan, heard Patty laugh behind her.

  Pete’s sister waved to her from the doorway as she backed out of the driveway and drove off. She had a strong urge to just go back, go down to the basement and kiss her boys, scoop them up and put them back in the van. Tell Pete and Tyler that tonight was off. This was too crazy. But if she did that, told them it was off, there was a strange reality. Tyler would be disappointed. Jess would be disappointed. And most crazy? Pete would be really disappointed. It might be the sanest thing to do, but no one would like it. Besides there was a carnal drive in her belly that was like a burning steam powered engine room. A roaring fire in there that was operating all her moving parts. Chugging the gears of her arms and legs. Operating the hydraulics of her size six foot that was planted on the pedal, roaring the old van to the drug store to buy some extra-large condoms for her lover.

  Jess went out to the Walgreen’s on North High Street. It was out of their neighbourhood, less chance of running into someone she knew. She ran around behind a wobbly cart hoping she wouldn’t run into any of the parents of the kids she taught. She’d gone out in white sweatpants and flip-flops and a tight T-shirt. She didn’t even know how that happened. She was just so worked up about tonight that she’d left home to do errands wearing the old things she wore around the house. She hadn’t done her hair or makeup yet, her hair was a spiky blonde mess. Hopefully, if someone saw her, they wouldn’t even recognize her. She had a ball cap on and her glasses. It was like she was wearing a disguise.

  She went through the aisles grabbing some random items—utility stuff, things that they kept stock of in the house. Q-tips, toilet paper, lady shave gel... Then she grabbed a big bottle of wine and headed for the condoms.

  Jess had slept with twenty-two men before she was married and they were really all the same size. A few smaller ones, then Pete at the smallest. Then there was Brad. She thought Brad was huge. Until Tyler.

  There were so many different kinds of condoms she was a bit overwhelmed. She thought that this would be easier. Pete bought his own condoms. She knew the box. Knew they were the smaller size, snug-fit they were called.

  There were Magnums, then there were Magnum XL. Were they even bigger? Did Tyler need the biggest size? He had to, right? I mean, it wouldn't be possible that you could be much bigger. What if XL was too big and it slipped off? Shit. That had to be impossible. What if it was too small? She felt her shoulders shake with a silent laugh, hunched over in the condom aisle like a weirdo, hat pulled down so no one would recognize her. What if Tyler took some XXL condom she didn't even know about, that the store didn't even keep in stock? Maybe he custom ordered them. God, look at all these boxes of XL condoms they had. How many men in this town were packing what Tyler had? Whatever. Tyler was getting the XL. It couldn't be too big and too bad if it felt too tight for him. He'd be bringing his own condoms anyway. She just wanted to be prepared. Didn't want the night to be ruined because no one was smart enough to bring protection.

  Her neck started to get hot standing in line. She hoped she wasn’t getting red. There were three people ahead of her, a young girl at the checkout. The girl was maybe sixteen—Jess did some math, she’d been teaching in this town for seven years—this girl could have been one of her students. Jess studied her face from the middle of the line. Please, don’t let her know me.

  It’s not that buying condoms was the biggest deal. The enormous guilt that came with her purchase couldn’t be recognized by an outside party. So what? She was buying condoms. The most likely thing someone who knew her would garnish was that old Pete Mapplethorpe was apparently packing a whopper. No one would ever imagine the dirty thing sweet Jess was going to try to do with some stud while her husband watched.

  Her flip-flop was tapping while she waited anxiously. She had a horrible thought. What if the condoms were too small, and he stretched it over himself too tight, and it broke inside her? Did she want to be a thirty-five-year-old divorcée carrying her young lover’s baby? Oh, boy—or AIDs or gonorrhoea... Her palms started to sweat. Who knew where her hung lover had put that thing. Who knew the string of little sluts he’d been with and all the dirty places they’d been. Maybe she couldn’t do this. So what if they were all disappointed? This was insanity. She could miss out on this. She was a married woman, for crying out loud. She loved her husband. She loved her kids.

  “Ma’am?”

  It was the young girl at the checkout. Geez, calling her ma’am at thirty-five. It seemed like yesterday she was a kid herself. She looked at this pretty blonde teen with her ponytail and her Walgreen’s tunic. When she was her age a boy came inside her after his condom had slipped off. They panicked, struggled like crazy to get the rubber out of her without going to the hospital. They retrieved it, but she was crushed with dread, cried herself to sleep every night for two weeks until her period came.

  She put her items up on the counter. The wine, the condoms, and all the other things she’d added so she wasn’t just buying wine and condoms. The condoms would be fine, she was being hysterical. Nerves, anxiety—he wasn’t too big for them, come on, Jess, be real.

  She kept her head down while the girl swiped her items. Blondie didn’t even look twice at the Magnum XLs. Just swipe-beep, and dropped into the bag. She paid with cash and got her bags out to the minivan, then raced home.

  Jess got herself home, got water boiling and prepped the roast. She pat it down, her hands moving fast. Seasoned it, coated it in flour and then seared the roast in butter, rotating it quickly around the pan, crisping up all the sides. Then she grabbed her pasta bowl and ran upstairs and locked herself in the bathroom. She shaved up between her legs, too nervous to get a thrill from it, jumped in the shower and gave herself a good scrubbing under the hot water. She put her contacts in, then ran back down the stairs and chopped up the potatoes and put them in the water that was just about to boil over. Everything was on schedule.

  -->